Recently in The Blonde of the Joke Category
The book comes out at the beginning of September. (Finally-- I mean for fuck's sake.)
So far, people have said some totally nice things about it:
Off-kilter humor, moody narration, and twisted psychology make this sardonic exploration of suburbia thrilling-like pocketing lip gloss and walking right out of the store... Dreamy collisions of reality and fantasy, of the nonsensical and impossible, make for a magical, slippery read. -- School Library Journal
...A ridiculous, riotous, tongue-in-cheek mad dash through the mall where everything is not as it seems... -- Kirkus
A John Hughes movie on downers. -- VOYA*
You pre-order it here now. (It doesn't seem to be on IndieBound yet, but obviously you should can/should get it from your favorite indie when it's actually released.)
*I count this as a rave
Mercury went direct last week (but don't get too happy cause knowing Mercury it will be all screwed up again ASAP) and this Saturday, the moon will be in Libra's 7th house while Jupiter aligns with Mars. That's right-- the dawning of the Age of Aquarius. I mean, maybe-- this is all third-hand.
All this good astrological news coincidentally (or not!!?!?) coincides with the great news that The Blonde of the Joke finally has a new official release date: August 25. So soon! Which means you can and should pre-order it now. That's still the old cover on Amazon but I've seen the new one and it rules. Hopefully I'll be posting it here soon too. Hint: it might match this site's new-ish color scheme!
Trashy book right from the first page. Contains language and sexual references. Sounded like a good idea for a book, but I couldn't get past the trash!
Isn't it so OFFENSIVE when books contain language? I know, right?!
Regarding A Handmaid's Tale, the same reviewer wrote: "Vulgar, degrading, a waste of time. Didn't finish it. (ONE STAR)" Does this mean that I'm on par with Margaret Atwood?
In this way, when a person has a book about to come out any minute, he (me) sort of just wants it to happen. So he (me) can have the book and show it to people and have them read it, and basically just move on to something else. One big bonus is that unlike a baby, a book does not cry or poop or seek sustenance from a person's breasts. Sometimes there are bad reviews and occasionally annoyingly critical e-mails, but that's not really the same.
I know that most people reading this are probably not eager for a baby right now or even possibly ever, but let's just say that you were. Close your eyes and imagine what it would be like if you had been pregnant for eight months or so and some doctor told you that gestation period in humans had been revised to eighteen months. Oops. No baby yet! You'll just have to stay pregs awhile longer.
You would probably be a little bummed out.
And I'm kind of bummed to announce that while The Blonde of the Joke is still definitely on the way, it's going to take a little longer than I expected. Like, a whole year longer actually. It was supposed to hit the stores was September 2, as in about a month from now. That is no longer the case. The new date is being hammered down, but word is that you can look for it in Fall '09. It sucks, but this is how things work sometimes. Why? I'm told it has to do with astrology. (I have a really unusual chart.)
That's the bad news. The good news is that I'm currently hard at work on the NEXT book-- working title APOCALYPSE BLONDE. That one will be out, uh, sometime after the first one.
Finally, I know have sworn never to mention Carly Simon again on this blog, but given the circumstances, I really can't resist seeking leaving you with THIS:
P.S. To those people who have reviewed The Blonde of the Joke on their blogs, thank you so much for the reviews but I suggest saving them for next year, when the book will actually be imminent.
...comes out September 2. You can pre-order it here.
A blonde and a brunette walk into a bar. No, wait.
A blonde and a brunette show up at the Pearly Gates, and Saint Peter—no, not that one, either.
Okay, so a blonde and a brunette go to the mall, and . . . oh, forget it.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned lately, it’s that jokes are not funny. At least, they’re never funny in the way they’re meant to be. I once knew a girl who thought all jokes were funny, but it turned out she was laughing at the wrong parts. Sometimes, now, I wonder what it must be like to look at the world that way. To be able to ignore one punchline and see a different one where it never even existed. I mean, I guess it must be useful. I guess it must be beautiful.
Okay, here we go. Knock-knock. Who’s there? Ima. Ima who?
Ima gonna tell you a joke. Get ready to laugh; this one’s a good one. Kind of long, but funny. Of course, by funny I mean that it’s fucking tragic in the end. Bear with me. It’s the first day of school, and a blonde walks into a classroom. . . .
