May 2008 Archives
Well the New York Times Magazine sure does know how to get their grubby hands on my hard-earned clickies! First they put one of my dearest friends on the cover, and the very next week they feature TYRA BANKS-- the very woman I consider to be the world's biggest MONSTER-- in the same spot! Naturally it is Emily and not Tyra who is catching all the the heat. Unfortunately I cannot link to my old TYRA BANKS IS A MONSTER post because it was lost when my old website was stolen, but I will offer my thoughts on the Tyra article next week after I have time to read it. I know you can't wait. In the meantime I would like to offer my apologies that the follow-up to THE BLONDE OF THE JOKE may be a couple months late: I have been mesmerized by Jezebel's brilliant Faces of Tyra gif mashup (at right) and have been unable to do anything but stare at it, Narcissus-like, all day. (Because, yes, this is what I look like without makeup.) This condition may persist for quite awhile. Also, I think the guys at the WoW Report are onto something with THIS.
I just got off the phone with the funnest girls!me:(annoyed because I knocked my sandwich over trying to get to the phone)Hello?
me: Uh... Bennett?
me: Who is this?
me: (looking at my sandwich on the floor) I have to go.
Nothing to say about this except that ALL THE SAD YOUNG GOSSIP GIRLS could be the name of everything I've ever written and everything I will ever want to write.
On Saturday Brian (lol picture, brian!) dragged me to Glasslands see some band called FM Belfast. I was expecting it to be pretty bad, but it turned out they were extremely charming and fun. They scored extra points with me because the two boys in the band looked exactly how I imagine Leonard Neeble and Alan Mendelsohn from Daniel Pinkwater's classic ALAN MENDELSOHN, THE BOY FROM MARS to look. (You can't really tell it in this video though.)
A blonde and a brunette walk into a bar. No, wait.
A blonde and a brunette show up at the Pearly Gates, and Saint Peter—no, not that one, either.
Okay, so a blonde and a brunette go to the mall, and . . . oh, forget it.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned lately, it’s that jokes are not funny. At least, they’re never funny in the way they’re meant to be. I once knew a girl who thought all jokes were funny, but it turned out she was laughing at the wrong parts. Sometimes, now, I wonder what it must be like to look at the world that way. To be able to ignore one punchline and see a different one where it never even existed. I mean, I guess it must be useful. I guess it must be beautiful.
Okay, here we go. Knock-knock. Who’s there? Ima. Ima who?
Ima gonna tell you a joke. Get ready to laugh; this one’s a good one. Kind of long, but funny. Of course, by funny I mean that it’s fucking tragic in the end. Bear with me. It’s the first day of school, and a blonde walks into a classroom. . . .
Emily and I went to the Night of a Thousand Stevies on Friday. I had my wig stolen. If you want to see some really embarassing pictures of me, you should read our (Emily's) post about it on Jezebel.
If you want to have a truly MAGICKAL musical experience you should just watch this video:
